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Gender And Sexuality Education Philosophy with Children Reflections on Pedagogy

RHEA KUTHOORE

Oct 10, 2021 · 6 min read

A lot of research points towards the fact that children make choices based on the gender norms they observe around them. Their toys, clothes and hairstyles often reflect how they see themselves through the lens of gender. Moreover, children begin to think, act and feel based on the gendered expectations that others have of them. Consequently, they do not get the opportunity to truly express themselves, feel a wide range of emotions or experiment with their bodies and feelings. Children who try to do so are often bullied and teased by other people.

In my classes, I used stories to reflect on how we come to understand ourselves through the lens of gender. The idea was to challenge the heteronormative paradigm and the binary ways in which we come to see ourselves. Through these stories, I wished for us to become more aware of our conditioning and to steer away from re-enforcing certain ways of being in the world as 'normal.' The idea is not to influence a child to express themselves in any specific way or make alternate choices but to sensitise them towards their own feelings.

In fact, many signs of gender dysphoria begin developing from when a child is five or six years old. Thus, I believe that it is crucial for an educational environment to open up to non-conforming ways of being and to encourage conversations about our bodies and the changes it goes through. Moreover, by listening to and respecting a child's likes and dislikes, we can enable them to develop their own sense of 'good' touch, 'bad' touch and other boundaries in between and beyond.

Pedagogy

To inquire into, observe and have conversation about gender. To keep in mind:

· The questions must be relatable, i.e begin with what children see and observe around them and how it makes them feel. Their experiences are a starting point for the conversations.

· Use role play to explore feelings.

· Ask them if a book or conversation is making them feel uncomfortable and address it.

· Speak to them frankly and even express that certain questions may be complicated or that we may not know the answer.

· Each child comes from a complicated family background and although they may become aware of the ways in which they see themselves through a gendered lens, it can be difficult to make changes in their own lives. Supporting them emotionally in such moments of confusion is very important. Creating a space for them to share their observations about their community and their families is essential.

· Children must know and feel that they do not have to be or become different but that they can be and become more accepting of themselves and others. One must be very careful to not use language that shame and judge children.

· While reading a story, encourage children to engage with it by asking them how certain situations make them feel or think or if they have questions.

Guiding Questions

In my classes, there were children who identified as girls and boys. If there are children who identify as queer, non-binary or anything else, the questions must be put forth accordingly.

What are some things you have only seen your mother do and what are some things that you have only seen your father do (if applicable)?

What have you seen most girls do around you that most boys do not do? What have you seen most boys do around you that most girls do not do? (using toys, clothes, hairstyle, profession/work, colours, personality traits like strength)

What do you feel about the differences observed?

Have you ever wanted to do something that you see most boys/girls (depending on the child's gender) doing?

Looking at pictures of transmen and transwomen or gender non-conforming people. Asking children to guess their gender. After they are done guessing, reveal what the person actually identifies as. This helps children realise how false answers are reached when we make conclusions based on people's clothes and looks. Through this activity, we also learn the value of asking people how they feel rather than assuming it. Analogy used: One day, a child comes to class with a straight line smile. I conclude from their expression that they are angry even though they are not. How would it make them feel? What is a better way of knowing how they feel?

What do we mean when we say ‘girl’ or ‘boy’?

What does it feel like to be a girl or boy?

Why have we said that certain things are for girls and other things are for boys?

Activity

After we read, ‘Jacob’s new dress’, we played dress up corner in our class (as Jacob plays in his class). During this activity, we tried different combinations of clothes.

The guiding questions for the role play were:

First, dress up as a character that you relate to (example: the girls chose Elsa from Frozen and the boy chose a superhero character)

Next, imagine a character who you feel is very different from you and dress up as them. This time the girls chose a character from ‘My little pony’ and another superhero while the boy chose Elsa.

Inquiry: A. Do you feel the same or different when you dress up differently? Why or why not? B. If you wear ‘boy’ clothes or ‘girl’ clothes, are you now a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl’? Why or why not?

Pre - reading activity:

1. To look at the cover of the book and guess what the story is going to be about or create your own story from looking at the cover.
2. What questions come to mind when you see the cover of a book?

While reading activity: (These questions are neither necessary nor exhaustive)

Click the book covers below to reveal the questions:

Heather has two mummies

Lesléa Newman

Guthli has wings

Kanak Shashi

Your body is yours

Yamini Vijayan

The Weightlifiting Princess

Sowmya Rajendran

Julian at the wedding

Jessica Love

Jacob’s New Dress

Sarah and Ian Hoffman

I am Jazz

Jazz Jennings

And Tango makes three

Justin Richardson

Reflection

· The children were open to sharing their personal experiences and observations.

· Sometimes, our inquiry led to questions that are require complicated responses and I frankly told them so.

· The children were curious about their bodies and the differences amongst bodies.

· I was amazed by how much the children had observed. Examples of their observations include: which parent cooks more, the differences in clothing, which parent uses the phone more, which parent keeps the bathroom open at times, which parent has more money. One child even pointed out how the kinder joy chocolate has different toys based on gender.

· Many of their views were challenged. Examples include, ‘boys are luckier’ or ‘boys are faster’ or ‘girls are nicer.’

· Their fixed notions of ‘girls’ clothing and ‘boys’ clothing was confronted through our dress-up role play class. Activities such as role play help children understand their own feelings and inhibitions too.

· Some children said, ‘Boys get more angry’ and ‘boys do not cry’ and ‘girls must not show too much skin.’ We tried to understand, together, why they felt this way.

· I understood the importance of having conversations about gender with children because I could see the ways in which their perceptions were moulded by the norms around them. I also realised the importance of involving parents in the conversation. Otherwise, children hear confusing ideas from parents and educators.

RHEA KUTHOORE is an educator who is passionate about facilitating philosophical and feminist thinking amongst young people.

Thinking Rhizomatically

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